Allow Me to Get the Door

Door Scenario One:  You are walking out of a building as another person is walking in.  Acting within normal, polite behavior guidelines, you hold the door for the approaching person after you walk out.  Incoming person slips through the door, does not even attempt to grab the door to assist in the process of entering/exiting the doorway nor do they convey any sort of gratitude toward you.

Door Scenario Two:  You open the door to walk out and notice there is someone else behind you nearing the same doorway.  Instead of continuing to walk and letting the door close, you use your precious seconds of life to pause and hold the door open for the individual trailing behind.  That person then acts as though the door is made of lava and they will melt should they reach out and touch it.  So they, just like scenario one people, slither past and do not bother saying “thank you” for your act of common decency.

It is unknown where these maniacs come from but unfortunately, they are very common.  Who are these dingbats?

They could be…

• spoiled brats.  Obviously they are so used to being waited on by others that they have taken it for granted when a complete stranger performs an act of kindness toward them.
• oblivious to the world around them.  It is very possible that these people are merely deep in thought or extremely introverted.  Possible.  However, still inexcusable.
• too good to show appreciation.  They have already sized you up and realized that you are not cool/rich/muscular/thin/popular/attractive enough for them to waste their cherished voice on you.  You are the one who opened the door for them, after all, so you are undoubtedly a peon.
• total assholes.  

Future dealings:  As I have wised up to this rancid strain on societal harmony, I have taken the following approaches:

In both scenarios, I still practice the polite act of holding the door for others as we all should.  We do not want to be a part of the uncivilized scum.

When faced with scenario one, after giving the bad-mannered person sufficient time to respond to your favor and receiving no recognition, make it loud and clear to others around that this human being is vile and disgusting.  Blatantly deliver a “YOU’RE WELCOME!”  Expect a loud sigh or eye-roll from the recipient.  Nonetheless, you will undoubtedly feel better as you have seized the ball and put it back into your court.*

*(Thank you to my always-kind and well-mannered mom for teaching me this procedure!)

Scenario two incidents take a little more planning, reading body language and predicting outcomes.  Once you see the person behind you headed toward the door you are holding, assess them.

1. Are they reaching their hand out to grab the door?
2. Are they aware that you are standing there waiting for them to come through?
3. Do they look as though they are about to smile or say something?

If your answer is an unmistakable “no” to all three of the assessment questions, then let it go.  That’s right, let it go.  Let the door slam in their face.

Facebook Post: “I’m sad :(“

What’s on your mind?

Jane’s Status: I’m sad 😦 Jane’s Friend A: What’s wrong? Jane’s Friend B: Hope everything is ok! Jane’s Friend C: Here if you need anything sweetie 🙂 Jane’s Friend D: 😦 Are you alright? Jane’s Friend E: What happened? Jane: I don’t want to talk about it.

How often have you seen this ridiculous dialogue? We all have at least one Facebook friend that insists on sharing how they feel then refuses to elaborate. But why? Why go out of your way to express your melancholy to the entire world only to follow up with a reply of “leave me alone”? Of course the first instinctual response to such posts is a dramatic eye-roll. But beyond this reaction I must wonder about the reason for this breed of Facebook-dwellers to make a vague declaration of feelings, opening up dialogue for others to inquire about the life problem and then shutting down. Proving your loyalty:  Perhaps it is a test from the poster.  At this time in their life they feel insecure about the people and friends they associate with.  They want to see who cares enough to ask them why they are upset.  Instead of being direct and acknowledging that he or she feels neglected, they choose to play a mind game with their Facebook friends. Lack of attention from spouse or significant other:  I hate to generalize but these posts are often from Facebook friends who are in a serious long-term relationship.  Their communication with that significant other could be depleting and the Facebook poster may be seeking attention from an outside source.  Anybody who chooses to recognize this person’s feelings is now better than the person’s romantic partner.  In turn, they come to the conclusion that it is their companion who is at fault because, “Facebook sees my true feelings, why can’t he(she)?”  Obviously this is an insane train of thought, but I believe it to be shockingly real. You are friends with a lunatic:  Sometimes it just boils down to the hard truth that your friend is out of their mind.  A clear sign of this is multiple Facebook posts of this kind.  Nothing ever makes them happy nor do they ever let it show that something in their life could be pleasurable.  If you have decided that this is your friend, you are best advised to delete this friend if at all possible.  Yes, you may find it tempting to keep them on just to observe their illogical, irrational Facebook posts for your amusement and I certainly get that.  But the bigger the audience, the greater the show.  Don’t encourage.